Alternatives

Minus one or two big exceptions, I have always focused my life on the things I enjoy. It wasn't exactly a conscious decision. In fact, it is more or less a character flaw. I just cannot maintain miserable states for too long.

My marriage was one exception. It was not happy past the first five years, but I didn't really understand why. I tried changing myself, then I tried changing the situation. Like a lot of people I thought adding children would bring us closer. I was wrong. They were the beginning of a very long end. Thanks to the children my life was very rich and fulfilled in spite of the relationship I tried to forge with my ex.

Outside of this I loved working with preschoolers, loved volunteering in the school library, loved the dream work I did with friends, and all the things that came with being a mother.

I've never been good at staying with jobs I didn't enjoy. The idea that I could spend forty years getting up and going to work in a place that was soul wrenchingly dreary is too bleak to contemplate for more than a year or two. You couldn't pay me enough money to do this. At the very least I would have to switch to another unfulfilling job occasionally.

So when I talk to people who complain about their jobs, or what they have to do with their friends, I find myself feeling impatient and annoyed. I don't understand why they continue to do these things. What is the pay off for doing what you don't like and how can that be better than the alternative?