Christmas

 

My daughter is having her first Christmas far away from everything and everyone she is used to. She and her boyfriend moved to Tempe, Arizona for better jobs and it is actually working out for them. They both have good jobs and they have a nice apartment.

What she doesn't have is her youngest daughter hanging around waiting to do everything with her and neither her boyfriend, nor his adult son are too interested in tree decorating or perpetuating the Christmas myth. Not to mention it is too far for her oldest daughter to show up on Christmas day

Myth, you say? Christmas isn't a myth! But the idea of Christmas, that we are fed from infancy on, really is a myth. It is supposed to be one big celebration complete with a sound track of Christmas songs while the family sits around the perfect turkey at a formal table for twenty after exchanging a billion dollars worth of fantastic gifts. The fireplace roars in the background. The tree twinkles. The cookies were decorated by Martha Stewart.

Nobody is sick, or tired, or wanting to leave and go play on the X-box. 

Everybody sits around oozing love and feeling appreciated for who they really are.

Really?

What big family gathering ever really goes that way? It is a ton of work to make Christmas happen and while most people can put up with the celebration, they don't want to do the work. After the kids are older, and before they are adults away from the nest, they aren't too interested in decorating trees, or cookies.

Christmas is a pageant directed by one member of the family, usually mom, who thinks it is so important she is willing to do almost all the work, cheer everyone else on and convince them that this is what is it all about. As long as that one person keeps it up, the ruse is perpetuated.

Once no one is interested in directing this production our dreams of Christmas have to be adjusted. It can still be fantastic. In fact, it could be better, but people have to have realistic expectations. If no one has the energy to cook, you go out, or pot luck it, or have french toast! It isn't about the food, or the tree, or even the presents. 

Christmas is a time to come together and enjoy each other's company in the best way possible, whatever that is for you,  and the more people who believe that, the better it will turn out.