Lost

I love sitting down, one on one, to share time with people I enjoy.

There is something about a one on one talk that is like a fine old wine. It is richer, headier, a little more of everything than getting together with a larger group of people.

People say, the more the merrier, but I am not looking for merry. I am looking for meaningful.

I have planned on an intimate lunch with my daughter for over a year. She is leaving the state to live far away with her fiance and it is a huge step for her. I had a little bracelet inscribed with some meaningful words and I saw myself giving it to her, just the two of us, in an elegant little tea house we both love.

Of course I planned to take both of them out to dinner on a different date, but she managed to invite him to the tea house and there was no way I could politely un-invite him. I like him. I enjoy his company, but I just didn't want anyone else there for that moment.

I am so disappointed. 

I feel like I have lost something very important to me.

I know I need to just let it go, but it has truly affected me. I even dreamed about it last night and woke in a funk today. I don't like this part of me any more than I like the manipulative part of her that brought this particular part of me into being.

It is part and parcel for our relationship though and one of the reasons I am also relieved that she is moving.  Perhaps we will be better for each other at a distance.