Forgiveness

 

I know there are always two ways to go, two ways to do something, two choices, or maybe more of all of these.

I also know that you will make the wrong choice most of the time. Maybe you don't do it consciously, but you still pick the way that lets you down, makes you look pathetic, makes you poorer, make you unhappier, makes you sick.

There is some part of you that is convinced that is who you really are: poor, pathetic, sad, sick, needy. 

It makes me angry to see this and that hurts me even more than it hurts you, because the anger I feel is inside of me! Inside of me where it eats me up without helping you at all! I need to stop this insanity.

I need to find a way to let you do your thing without me judging you, or feeling involved. I need to find a way to forgive you for being so bad to yourself.

If I can't help you (and it appears after all these years that I cannot) then I have to help me. 

I want to forgive you and move on.