Wonder and awe

I have to admit that when I die I expect to become part of the wind and water, sunshine and earth. Simply swept away into the great togetherness we are all a part of without realizing it now.

But what if a soul does continue on? What if there is some essence of me that has been before and will be again? What if those dreams I had as a very young child were flashes of memories?

Would there be any rhyme or reason for how I came back, or why? Is there actually unfinished soul business in the universe? Are any of the people in my life now also ones that I knew before?

Of course I'll never know for sure. I probably don't really want to remember. Waking up and seeing the flames covering my youth bed and wondering why they didn't burn this time, might be very traumatic to remember in any greater detail. Or the three white pigs with bloody mouths standing on top of me? Maybe not that beautiful round room with the big windows full of blue sky, but who knows what else came with that?

Chances are they were only dreams brought on by a very young impressionable child over hearing adults talking, but sometimes I wonder.

Did we find each other because we were looking? Will we find each other again when the life cycles are more in tune? Or are we simply trying to learn something that has not been learned?

I do not even begin to understand the universe, nor the laws that govern it. I know that matter is not created or destroyed, but I don't know if that includes the form that matter takes. There will always be wonder and awe and I think that is the beauty of creation.