Pain

  

Pain sounds like a physical thing. A stubbed toe, a diseased organ, any of a million different physical manifestations and yet pain is emotional too. 

Pain is regret. It is missing someone who is gone.  It is not understanding. It is in the head, but in the body too.

I feel pain when I recall certain memories, or thoughts and that pain inflates an invisible space from my head, behind my eyes and all around my heart in my chest cavity, making breathing painful, breath jerky, even eliciting tears in my eyes

Pain is a real phenomena and I believe it can manifest real dis ease.

Bodily pain can often be healed with medical procedures, but emotional pain is so much more difficult to deal with. 

I cannot take a pill and change a situation. There are no injections that really eliminate reality. I cannot force myself to be something my being does not really embrace, or believe. 

I can change words, actions, places, even people, but that does not guarantee a change in feelings. 

Experience tells me all pain is real, but emotional pain is bewildering, almost magical in as much as it has no shape, color, size, or measurable boundaries, but comes with extreme power.

As a human being I must develop my own method of dealing with such pain, one that works for me, one that convinces my mind it is valid and no matter how much help people try to give me, it will only succeed if I allow it to.

Learning to control my own beliefs is the hardest thing in the world.