There are people in my life that I cannot share anything with because just talking to them opens a door to all their anguish and hurt. They do not see that their own decisions cause nearly all of their problems. Instead they turn it around and tell me they cannot live like I do. By that they mean self-centered and selfish.
They believe that having any boundaries is selfish. Having any rules mean. Having any personal preferences petty. They prefer to be pecked to death by their children, job, friends, and life in general. In fact, that seems to be the only constant in their life - they must suffer to be happy.
I don't believe I am self-centered or selfish. I just have limits and I believe people who are independent are ultimately happier than those who are enabled and tied to someone else's generosity.
On the flip side are the people in my life who find peace or joy in most days of their lives. My son, who lost his job in February loves the new life he's made for himself as an independent contractor. He likes the work, the people he works with, the whole shebang. The only problem is not making enough money for anything extra. Today he found out his ancient furnace is dead and gone. That means it will take thousands of dollars to replace it, or they are going to have a very cold winter.
An amazing couple, who has always told them, "If you if ever need anything, please let us know." heard they were in trouble and gave them a check for the whole thing! It is the closest thing to a Christmas miracle I have ever personally experienced.
I believe that good things can happen without all the chest beating and weeping some people feel is necessary in life. You may need to rethink, or re-plan, or get lucky, but as long as you don't give up and keep on doing honestly kind and good things, life is doable.
In fact it can be awesome.
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