Realistic

 

Why do we put more thought into buying a car, or a piece of furniture than we do when choosing what we hope will be our life long mate?

It may look romantic in movies, or sound romantic when people talk about marrying someone they met by chance, but in the long haul that adorable clumsiness, or insignificant habit is likely to become a grain of sand that will rub you raw.

And beware the sad story of former mistreatment. Someone who shares that too soon is likely to be someone who is used to, or even looking for, the comfort of feeling slighted and abused.  Eventually you too will become part of the story no matter what you do. 

It is easier to fall back on old habits than to forge new ones. There is a feeling of safety that comes from familiarity, even if that familiarity is painful.

A healthy, content relationship will be continually changing and require adaptation from both people in order to survive. 

Passive aggressive behavior is the road to failure. No one will read your mind correctly all the time. It takes courage to discuss things you both might not agree upon, but not talking about them will not make them go away, or be less significant.

It is better to work all this stuff out before you complicate relationships with children, houses, or years of faking it.