Dream a little dream

 

Dreams are defined differently depending on who is talking about them. 

As a member of a Jungian dream group for over ten years I am intimately involved with my own dreams to this day and lately they have taken a very dark turn.

Imagine finding myself back in my grandma's Big House where my bed is in the kitchen far away from everyone else's. I try to get in bed with my grandma or great aunt, but am made to go back to the kitchen where my bed is tucked into a corner. The place I had to sit, in real life, on a chair, when I misbehaved as a very young child. It was never a traumatic punishment. I would just watch all the people working in the kitchen, or coming and going outside the window. But in this dream I realize there is someone in bed behind me and when I reach back I can feel the large, brown, stiff, dead fingers of my father! I scream for help because there is a long dead body in my bed, but no one comes.

Then I dream that I go upstairs to Lizzy's room and it is covered in blood! I don't see the reason for it, but it is everywhere. I can smell the metallic scent of the blood and feel the thick viscosity of it as it congeals. The floor is made of rough concrete with dips and uneven places where the blood has pooled. I try to clean it all up before her parents see it because I know they will be upset. As I continue to mop it up I am careful not to destroy the delicate lace decorations it has splattered on. I finally get it all up and go in the bathroom only to find more blood when I hear her father coming up the steps. I know he will be devastated and I feel guilty, but I don't know why.

I cannot imagine where these dreams are coming from, but they are truly disturbing. Neither one is based on actual experiences in my life, but both occur in places from my past with people I actually knew and had good experiences with. 

Sometimes remembering dreams so vividly is more of a curse than a gift.