Vulnerable

Almost everyone has a soft spot for babies. Even if they don't want to raise one, or even care for them, they feel softer around them, because babies are so vulnerable.

They really have no defenses, except being adorable or cute. In fact, they can actually be quite annoying and a huge amount of sleep depriving work. Yet most of us easily love them. 

Vulnerability is not just something thrust upon us as we grow up. Instead, people tend to put up walls and all sorts of defense mechanisms between themselves and others. The less we trust them, the more defenses we have and that makes sense for our survival.

The more we trust someone, the fewer defenses we feel are necessary.  

I think that might be the measure of love.

The more you allow yourself to feel safe and vulnerable with someone, the more that says you trust and love them.

In all my life I think I have only felt totally and willingly vulnerable with one person. I have come close with one of my children, but there will always be a part of me that feels I must protect my children. Protect them against my less worthy thoughts and feelings as well as things I think they might not understand.

But there is one person in this world who knows all my hopes and dreams, all my kinks and cracks, who I feel totally comfortable discussing absolutely anything with. I think that is as vulnerable as it is possible to be.

And that may be the closest to real full fledged, mature love as we can ever be.