Numb

There were jokes about people sitting around contemplating their navels when I was a child, but I tried it anyway. Actually I wasn't thinking about my navel, but trying to open space in my mind for whatever wanted to pour in.

It is kind of like soaking the breakfast plate, waiting for the bacon grease and egg yolks to soften up before sticking the plate in the dishwasher. The world is a better place for it in some way I cannot explain.

Now I am not in any particular angst. I have most of what I need (Except a sane president and people closer than six feet.) Contemplation leaves me just empty. 

I am numb.

There is too much horror outside myself. Allowing myself to fall into that could be fatal. It is as if the world gave me a shot of Novocain. I can see reality. I am living in reality. I am functioning, but I do not FEEL.