To wave or not to wave

Imagine struggling to decide whether to wave at someone you love -- or not.

If you do wave you may be accused of grandstanding, or being possessive, or one of a million other paranoid actions.

If you do not wave you may be accused of being rude, or not caring, and worst of all not being loving.

There will not be any physical abuse either way, but the emotional turmoil is still very real.

There is the cold treatment where someone will not acknowledge your presence.

The acid treatment where there is a silent accusatory look that comes up again and again.

And, if you are lucky, you know what you did wrong. If you are not, there is also the soul searching, the mind games, the added self loathing that comes from being in an insane relationship.

Almost no one ever tells you to leave such a relationship. Most people think you are overly sensitive, or overly imaginative. After all he never hits you, or acts that way in public.

But if you feel that way, you should leave and the sooner the better.

Worst case scenario: if it really is you, you will find it repeating itself in other relationships. (Of course it is possible you lean towards those people anyway.)

Best case scenario: you discover life can be much simpler and so much better. In a healthy relationship with someone else, or alone in a healthy relationship with yourself, peace is a blessed perk.

And joy doesn't come with strings.