Happy Anniversary

I hear that (haaap pee anni ver sar ree)  in a sing song chant like they used to do at restaurants where the staff all lined up and embarrassed you with good intentions, but today I would have been married 49 years.

Of course 21 one of those, the best really, have been spent alone after our divorce.

My marriage was a tumultuous combination of sweet expectations and soul grinding reality.

The best parts of being married to an insecure narcissist were our children. They filled me with a joy I didn't know it was possible to have.

I suspect that if I were not a naturally optimistic person, with decidedly dark sides, I would not have survived that 28 years of my marriage intact enough to enjoy the last 21 alone, but I did and the rewards have been amazing.

I fully appreciate how rich and beautiful my life is now because it was so difficult before. The contrast is striking, so maybe there is something to the saying, "everything happens for a reason."

Without the marriage I would not have had my three children, or the freedom to live the way I do now.