Horribly

Bestest and I were talking about a book he teaches in one of his classes. He seemed surprised that, like his students, one of the first things I remembered about it was the father killing the dog.

I've given a lot of thought about why that is.

One thing, is that people tend to think of dogs as innocent creatures, helpless in the way they can be horribly mistreated by people, but as Bestest points out, the main character is an innocent little boy who was horribly treated.

Why then do I think I remember the dog so vividly?

Because my experience in life is that I can be hurt much more deeply and irreparably by someone who goes after what I love.

As an adult I can deal with hurts in so many ways, but dealing with the guilt of having someone I love hurt because of me is almost unbearable.

It's not a novel idea. Evil people have known it as one of the most effective ways of torturing people since time began.

Hurt someone's pet, their child, their spouse, their parent and you inflict so much more pain.

The little boy is hurt in so many terrible ways that remembering the dog is almost an escape from the tension of the book, a step away from the horribly abusive story, allowing me to escape from his helplessness and suffering and separate myself from the book.