Pity full

I often find myself wondering why people do what they do.

Why do things that make you miserable?

It seems there should be some great answer to that. As if people taking on the sins of the world like a sin eater will make things better for the rest of us. Or by sacrificing their happiness they are helping someone else out. Or something!

What I see is not that.

Most of the time I see a miserable person whose misery hangs over them like a dark cloud causing everyone around them to be, at least, slightly uneasy. Very few people enjoy being the cause of someone's unhappiness and being around someone who is chronically depressed, or sad, or miserable is . . . depressing.

In an ideal world we would just never choose to do things that make us unhappy, but it seems to me that if you are forced to do something you don't want to do then you need to find a way to make it better.

Avoiding the feelings by sleeping, or working over time, or staring at the boob tube won't make anything better. Don't be pitiful. That just makes most people want to avoid you. Be proactive.

Find things to do that are positive. Be creative. Find a purpose aside from being pitiful.

I had a friend who wore forty pound braces on his legs and walked with crutches. He was engaged in all sorts of things and very active in spite of his handicaps. One of his phrases that has always stuck with me was, "Don't be pity full." He was joking, but he was right.