Scripts and escapees

We all have our stories. The way we see ourselves and want others to see us. 

True, or not, they become the script for lives that are much more orchestrated than most of us ever believe. I don't know where these stories come from. Sometimes I think they are the twisted way we remember childhood movies, or TV shows, or perhaps books. Other times they are obviously part of a family mythology, the "This is who we are" tale of sacrifice and misery.

I watch people do the same things over and over, no matter how much they complain about them afterwards. Almost as if it is a badge of pride that they, too, are suffering like those who went before.

If it is a family trait it often comes with a form of blindness supported and encouraged by other family members. The long suffering, beleaguered person is seen in the same way he or she was seen in the family pecking order as a child. The pretty one, the dumb one, the smart one . . . some families allow no one to crawl out of the original rut. And for some reason these people don't really try either. They actually believe their life is inescapable and not of their own making.

Only outsiders ever seem to notice and since they ARE outsiders, their opinion doesn't really count, because they don't "understand." It is possible to change, but that probably requires moving far enough away that you are forced to be more creative if you want to survive. (It's hard to convince strangers that your mythology is not a choice.)

It is frustrating to be one of the escapees. Knowing that I can follow the old script and make myself an object of pity and failure, or use the same power to make myself successful and happy is very enlightening, but that doesn't mean you can take that home as a morality lesson.

Writing new scripts can be scary and the comfort of the familiar suffering is a huge security blanket.