Happily ever after

I have often wondered why I do not particularly like "Hallmark" style movies and romance novels. I like loving people and sweet fuzzy warm things. I love the idea of hearth and home, hot baked bread and wholesome food made by loving hands.

I was driving my car out to do some walking in the woods yesterday when it occurred to me that if a gorgeous older man in my age range were to show an interest in me I would panic. I would love to talk to him about subjects of mutual interest. I wouldn't mind sharing meals while we did this talking, but if the idea of working towards a situation where we might attempt to weave our lives together came into being I would be terrified and no longer interested in maintaining a relationship with him.

It is definitely not physical intimacy that scares me. It is emotional intimacy.

Close relationships often seem to include passive aggressive people with sarcastic looks, scathing comments, angry silences, and so called "truthful" revelations. All of which can knock me off kilter and wound me more than a fist to the face. If I ever chose to live with someone again I would need the constancy of a person who actually realizes who I am before speaking.

Love is at its best when you can let it go knowing it will always come back.

Happily ever after is not having to worry that the one I love is jealous, or angry, or wanting to deceive me in any way. It is simply being who I am and knowing it is enough and always will be.