The Virtual Grandmother

Remember The Electric Grandmother?  I loved that show, because I like the idea that someone will always be here, they can never die, or get sick, or move away, or turn away. . . and then she left!  Because they were grown up and her job was finished.  That still makes me sad.  I don't think you ever outgrow the need for a forever person to love and care for you, to hold you and make you feel safe.

It made it seem that life has rules, that things always have strings, that nothing and no one is forever, so you should never get too comfortable, or take anything for granted.

A small part of me is still afraid that is true, but another part of me says some things are forever and forever and forever, if I only have eyes to see them and a heart that recognizes them.

I felt that when I adopted my oldest son, that he was mine as surely as if he'd been carried under my heart for a million years and I feel it now when I look into the eyes of my granddaughter and grandson. 

I am a modern day version of the electric grandmother, a smiling face on the Skype program on a computer and my grandchildren seem perfectly at ease with that.  We laugh and talk.  We play.  I read them books and they sit there, chins on their hands, eyes intently looking at the pictures while I read.  It's the best we can do given the situation and it's pretty darn good.  I even get a hug and kiss when we turn off.

I am the virtual grandmother, but I am real.  I know that and they seem to too.