Stress

No one else can define my stress. 

No one else can define my stress.

It bears repeating, because I am a creature who is easily stressed.  I was the kid who was always sick by the time we left for vacation because I was so excited about it for too long.  I was the mom who slept even less than her baby because I just knew he was going to wake up as soon I fell asleep.  It took me so long to do that that it was a self-fulfilling prophecy.  I am often tired on mornings when I need to rise early, because I lie awake the night before thinking, “I need to sleep!”

No one needs to tell me these things are counter intuitive to my health.  I know it!  And that old GI Joe cartoon that said, “Knowing is half the battle” was only half right!  I’ve known all these things for years and I’ve tried all sorts of ways of dealing with them.  Some work.  Most don’t, they simply force the stress underground.  I am, unfortunately, totally capable of multi tasking. 

In the past the stress sent up red flags seeking help: cold sores, pimples, hives, and sometimes whole illnesses because I became so depleted I was vulnerable to everything that passed by.   I dealt with each one by treating the manifestation.  Lysine for cold sores, acne medicine, Benedryl, asprin, whatever it took to survive.

Honestly things are not much different now even though one might think my life is stress free.  It’s not.  Everything, good or bad, can be stressful for me.  After 62 years in this body I finally have to admit it.  There is no getting around it.  Pretending otherwise just doesn’t change anything.

But the flip side is that I also find almost everything to be full of wonder and amazing.  This super sensitivity that make me vulnerable also makes me aware and open and alive.  I am easily touched by life and everything that comes with it.

My coping techniques are pretty straightforward.  I just try to focus on what is in front of me, savoring the moment.  And one of the beautiful things about savoring is that it takes up so much space that sometimes the stress gets lost.