Challenges

In a world where stress is constantly in the news, often just to sell some product or service that supposedly helps reduce stress I have to admit I find most things stressful!

Whether I was born with this problem, or developed it later is irrelevant for me.  It exists.

As a child I was the kid who was sick by the time we left on vacation because I had been so excited for so long.  Most major holidays were prefaced by a long night of sleeplessness.  Cold sores erupted before pictures, school dances, even my own wedding.  Hives are as much a part of my life as acne is for teenagers.

I have learned to cope.  Lysine is a simple over the counter supplement that keeps cold sores at bay.  Benadryl is my friend.  Meditation helps me unwind and simple breathing techniques keep me sane.

Still, it is like wearing a sweater over goosebumps.  The feelings are always here, ready to eat away at my self-esteem, erupt on my skin, or ruin any situation.  Thoughts pop up in my mind blocking teacher’s voices in class, ministers in church, dialogue in movies, leaving me wondering what I missed.  I am my own worst enemy.

I say this because I don’t think I am all that unique.  This flaw in me is present to some degree in lots of people and while it is often a problem, it should not be a source of shame.  Nor should it be an excuse.

It is a challenge.  Not a simple one, or impossible one, but a challenge to live my life as much in the present as I possibly can, to keep bringing myself back to the task at hand – even if that is only to be cognizant of the beauty in each moment, and accept myself for who I am.

Being kind to others is easier when I can love myself.