This zoo

I live alone, venturing out for my morning walk every day with my first tentative steps into a world filled with thin gray lines.    Like some sort of human zoo creature I look out between these lines knowing full well they are there, but not always understanding why.

Each one is a warning to beware of those things society finds offensive or dangerous, or sometimes just the line of demarcation between peaceful existence and chaotic drama.

Step across one of these and it is like touching an electric fence.  There is a buzz followed by a shock that reminds me who I am and what I am doing. 

Once upon a time I was out to change the world.  Now I mostly want peace.  I’ve met the other creatures who come to this watering hole and they are who they are.  They don’t want to change.  They really aren’t capable of changing and I have lost most of my interest in changing them.

It is enough for me to maintain my own small space letting in the light and creating a retreat where I can simply be me.  Now, if being me isn’t enough – enough of a role model, enough of an arbiter for peace, enough of whatever those other creatures are looking for, I still have a place to go.