Infinite Meeting

I am about as in touch with my feelings as any one human being can be, so when my thoughts about me conflict with your thoughts about me I am perplexed.

I worry that I may have misled you in some regard.  I think it is easier to sound better than I am when all you have to judge me on are my own words.

There is much to be said by standing next to someone during a crisis and perhaps even more when there is a conflict between the two of you.  My highest self is almost always on top when I write.  The rest of me shows up when I least want it to.

I want you to love me, warts and all, but trusting in that takes more faith than I can muster sometimes.  I don't know how to get around it, but I know it goes a long way when you share your own insecurities with me.  It takes a lot of faith to trust someone with that and a lot of courage to believe they will hold it gently in their heart and never toss it back at you.

You've grabbed me by the hand and led me into extraordinary places.  I suppose the next step is to allow that hand to materialize into flesh and blood and see if it can still hold on.  But there have been people who spent their entire lives writing to one another and never met at all.

And there have been people who met each other face to face and one of them turned to stone.

I think if we meet, it will be like watching two crystal clear pitchers of water siphoning themselves into one another.  Anything else will disappoint me.