Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Heaven

I think the secret to life is finding those things that truly make me happy.

Not riding a roller coaster, leaping off of high buildings happy, but content; things that make getting out of bed worthwhile in the morning.

For the first time in my life I am often finding myself tired in the late evening, around ten, or eleven, and waking up at six or seven in the morning. I don't know why this sudden shift. I was a chronic insomniac even as a young child, but I think it has something to do with the pressure being off.

For over six months I have only gone to bed if I am tired, knowing that if I can't sleep I can just get back up. Likewise, I don't have to get up to walk the dog, or go to work, or fix breakfast for anyone. I get up because I am not tired, because I am ready to do something I love and if I get tired? I know I can lie back down!

There is no pressure, even from myself, to conform to anyone else's schedule and I am incredibly sensitive to other people's needs, so that is truly a boon.

I live in the best of all worlds right now. I am able to do mostly those things I love to do and do them in increments that make them exceedingly enjoyable to me!

I think maybe my version of heaven is pretty close to the way I live right now. With only a few tweaks my life is perfect. There are some things I would change, but hey, this is my life, not my eternity, so that isn't too bad!

It has taken me over sixty years to realize that life, unfettered by expectations, seems to have the ability to tune itself to the right frequency.

That is truly faith.

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