Cobwebs and Shells

Opening my eyes, I am relieved to have escaped from a dream world where I was being tormented by bullies, but immediately after the relief comes a sense of confusion. Where am I? Who is this person in bed with me? Of course I am at my sister's home and she is the one sleeping on the other pillow. Rain falls against the window and the grayness of the day settles ominously over me, like some sort of cobwebby quilt that I need to push away.

The day begins slowly. I let Chauncey out into the back yard, make coffee and stand here waiting for it to be ready. Its rich aroma is comforting and the heat of the mug in my hands warms my spirits as I see Chauncey frolicking around in the rain. He is finally settling in and so am I, sort of.

After the relatively solitary life of the mountains, this world seems busy and sometimes chaotic. It is going to take a while before I can even hope to have a room of my own and right now everyone seems to feel I need company. As happy as I am to see them all, I often feel as if I am wearing that cobweb quilt, that perhaps I have turned it into a cloak and pulled its hood down over my eyes.

Always the quiet, introspective one, I have still always been the more adventuresome one. I am expected to come home bubbling and full of the tales of my travels and I try, but it isn't here. I am a turtle without a shell and feel very vulnerable. I tell myself all I need is time.

Little by little I am carving out the world I will live in and all will be well. All is well now, even if it is strange. I know that. I simply need to remember it.