I’m not feeling good, but I also think I am becoming a cynical human being. Sitting here today, the thought popped into my head that if anyone is helping anyone out for any reason, other than it being necessary for the keeping and maintaining of their own heart and soul (and I use these strictly as metaphors for sanity and well-being) they haven’t really “got it.”
I don’t think being able to, or trying to, buy my way into anyone, or anything’s good graces is a good enough reason to feel good about myself. Those actions don’t speak about the true nature of loving and giving.
It they did, all rich men/women would be at the top of all lists, which many people do believe is true. The richest person could give the most, pay people to do the most, get to heaven faster and be considered wiser than everyone else. The most fanatic of the fanatics could also be at the head of the class when it came to doing good deeds, but I don’t believe these are truly valid requisites for being a deeply good person.
Likewise, I don’t believe that I, giving my paltry few dollars, am any better than the guy giving ten. I may be, but if I am, it is not because of the amount I am giving, no matter how hard it was for me to come up with it. I don’t believe it is possible to measure goodness in anything except the feelings behind them. Suffering doesn’t count no matter how noble it is. If someone is truly completely altruistic in every single way, they are the best.
Who can measure that? No one that I know of and that is probably just as well, because a lot of good is done by a lot of people for all the wrong reasons and most of it works just as well as otherwise. Thank goodness for our selfish needs, they can benefit mankind and just about everything else -- they just don’t benefit us to the nth degree.
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