Perverse Sense Of Humor

The universe with a perverse sense of humor listened to my last thot and gave me the opportunity to experience one more thing so that I would know for myself what it is like. Needless to say, it was something I would have been happy to forego, but that wasn’t one of the options.

I wasn’t feeling good anyway so at first I didn’t even notice the extra little aches, but gradually they made themselves loud and clear. It reminded me of when I used to play Bridge years ago and after eating had to lie down and let my stomach settle before we went into battle. I tried every position I know to ease the feeling that my stomach was filling up with gas and going to explode any second. I thought it was the worst.

Then phase two appeared and it felt like I was in hard labor, only I knew there was no way I was giving birth. It’s just a physical impossibility for me. I thought this was even worse.

But nausea reared its ugly head and for the next ten hours I lived in a haze of pain. I would have driven myself to the hospital, but I have no idea where it is in Asheville and pride of independence would not allow me to wake up the guys upstairs. I called my doctor and she wanted me to come in. How I was going to get there was beyond me, but this time the universe smiled on me and I made a fairly uneventful drive to Asheville.

Kidney stones! Who would think! And several other infections which are sort of par for the course for me right now when I can catch anything from five hundred feet. Barbie went and got my medicine, which blessedly included vicodin. I took one and now I can say with first hand knowledge, it works.

I am about to make some toast. If it goes down, we are on the mend.