More Enthusiasm Than Proficiency

Yesterday's My Thots ended with this: I think I’ve crossed just about every barrier now. In the words of a my triumphant son when he dove into the deep end of the pool at three, “Let’s see what I’ve learned!”

What I didn't write was that right after saying this he took off his water wings, threw himself into the water and promptly had to be fished out! Please understand that I, like him then, do most of the things I do with more enthusiasm than proficiency. I'm just not so afraid of failing now and I count on the understanding and kindness of those around me.

I am lucky. I may not be great at all the things I want to try in this life, but I have been given a better than even chance at success. I just watched a movie about autistic twins who turned out to be extraordinary at the things they tried, which is nice, but kind of annoys me. Most kids who have some problem in school are not this lucky. They do not automatically find out they are chess whiz es, or guitar savants, or the fastest runner in the school. Sometimes it takes years and years to discover their niche in life.

Very very gifted people manage to find their way, but the average child who learns outside the grid, generally suffers through an awful lot of harassment from both the other students and the teachers. Many are labeled as unruly, or irresponsible, or just plain recalcitrant, when the problem is something completely different. I know. I have personally experienced some of it with first my brother and then my daughter and to a smaller extent, one of my sons. These kids were punished again and again because they couldn't learn what was put before them until someone discovered they simply learned a different way.

For these kids to see movies where everyone appears to easily excel goes beyond motivation. It lends itself to frustration and just plain giving up. I don't think my daughter will mind when I use her as an example. She knew something was wrong right away. She used to cry and ask why the letters never turned into words. I tried everything I knew and then went to everyone I could think of looking for answers. Some said it was because her life had been so crazy before we adopted her. Others said, she had a learning disability, which is awfully vague. Everyone wanted to label her, but nothing really worked until one teacher quit looking at broad spectrum's and simply did what worked best for my daughter in her class. That was the starting point for us and it looks like we still don't know what the end point will be. My daughter is still learning, still progressing and now has a good job that even has benefits! She can do whatever she needs to do, just differently than most other people. She is very creative at finding what works and she gave me many of the tools I needed to help other children who came after her.

Here's to a world that learns to love us for who we really are.