Perception

Perception is important. My grandson, Lennon, has grown up with three dogs who probably have a combined weight of around 200 pounds. He is not the least bit put off by any of them, even though he can barely see over them when they stand up.

When they all come tearing past him in a large mass of legs, fur, barking and energy, he will turn to the wall, brace his hands and simply wait til they pass. Or sometimes, he will assert himself with gigantic arm motions and his biggest voice shouting, "Off!" He carefully climbs over them if they are blocking the door to his room, or in his way, but he perceives them as totally benign entities who just happen to share his space.

I, on the other hand, seemed to have been born with a natural and almost debilitating fear of any dog not my own, so I have worked hard to both get over this and not pass it on to my children or any others.

Chauncey is only about ten pounds of Shih-Tzu and while he can be excitable, is pretty easily controlled with a few simple words. Lennon learned early on to throw Chauncey's toys and shout, "Go Get It!" with enough energy to make Chauncey spring up from wherever he is and dash off to find whatever was thrown. Otherwise the two of them have a healthy respect for each other. Lennon doesn't take Chauncey's toys out of his mouth and Chauncey doesn't chew on Lennon's things.

So I was surprised when Lennon started to leave the music room and suddenly turned and said, "Make Chauncey go away!" Chauncey heard his name and came bounding over. Lennon immediately shrieked in terror and leaped into his father's lap. He adamantly refused to go anywhere near Chauncey the rest of the morning and we couldn't figure out why.

Then when Lennon and I were sitting on the backyard swing, he started to get off and stopped. Looking up at me, he asked, "Why is Chauncey mad at me?" I looked at Chauncey, who was sitting there in all his regal Shih-tzu glory and realized it did look like he was scowling! If I hadn't known better, I might have thought he was angry too, but it is just that his hair is finally growing out and his mustache droops down over his little smiling mouth now. A small explanation and our conflict was resolved.

I wonder how many other conflicts are also the product of simple misunderstandings?