Some people grow up believing that misery is the norm, that all the world is hard and painful and they are just waiting for the next unhappy surprise. Life among people who don't provide these expected requirements can be frightening. The security of such a world creates an anxiety in these people that is just waiting to crash down on their heads once it materializes and gains enough momentum. Light is scary.
My heart goes out to them. I did not grow up this way. At least I am pretty sure I did not, but I did live under some of the same terrible restrictions for many years as a grown-up. All things are tempered by the dark cloud that looms, if not in sight, just out of it. Every joy is dulled by the knowledge that soon something bad will happen and nothing can stop it ahead of time.
One of the great joys I have now, is the knowledge that every moment must be savored. It is not enough to get a taste of something and hurry on to the next moment. Each moment must be inhaled in a search for the deep rich bouquet that accompanies it, then it must be sipped and allowed to settle in a burst of air bubbles on my tongue before it slides down my throat in a velvety smooth waterfall of appreciation.
The mellowness that follows sets the scene for the next moment and life is good, very very good. It is one of the boons for having survived the past. It is part of the wisdom of living past the age of necessity.
I want to take those I see living for the next hurtful moment and tell them to let go. Doom and gloom are only masquerading as black holes. In reality they are only as heavy as you allow them to be, but that is not always true. Life can be terrible, but it is seldom as terrible as I expect it to be. In fact, in most moments life is okay in and of that instant.
The trick is to learn how to stretch these instants out and enjoy them without thoughts of the past or the future, because as Thich Nhat Hahn says, "In this moment I can smile." Learning to live among these moments is worth whatever it takes.
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