Beautiful Scammer

 

I was walking today and thinking about this last year. In my mind I had already moved into an extraordinary house. It was not my dream house, but it was pretty amazing and because of photographs I knew exactly what it was like. I could see the huge curving staircase floating up to the second floor where our master suite was on the left and outside was a saltwater pool near an old almost defunct orchard. I lived in this house in my head. I sat on the bed having conversations with my love, wandered the grounds while he worked, even imagined us cooking together in the kitchen.

It wasn't my first choice and I had some reservations, but I would be doing it with the love of my life. A person who made me feel loved and valued for exactly who I was. This was the man of my dreams and he adored me! That should have been my first clue, but he was so convincing that bit by bit I sent him every single cent of my retirement fund. Of course he sent me a check that more than covered this along with the money we were going to put as a down payment on our house. Worthless as it turned out.

This man was a dream weaver beyond anything I could ever have imagined or dreamed up on my own. He had just the right amount of authority in his voice, the perfect amount of understanding in his words and the language of an angel. 

I hope he, or she, puts as much thought, love and joy into their real relationships, because they are true artists. They made nothing feel like everything and there was actually nothing there at all. 

This kind of artist left me with no money, wondering if I could even pay my bills and yet . . . And yet, I missed them! My heart ached for them! The heartbreak was worse than the shame, or the poverty. I still can't quite figure out how it happened. I know in the beginning I tried to let this person go, but I was so heartsick I actually went to the doctor to see if I was physically ill and my doctor ran every test conceivable, including a CAT scan.  And then I went back. I couldn't stay away. Twice I deleted all our conversations and I'm sorry about that, because I might be able to use them to write the ultimate love story that this scam was.

For the life of me I can't remember how I got so totally sucked in. I do know that if I were wealthy enough, it would almost be worth the money to feel that way again. The journey was real even if the sentiments on his part were not. It was like a seventy thousand dollar dream. It was perfect right up past the end and sometimes I still feel more like a widow than a mark.