Balance

 

I have always had a weight problem. Even when I weighed 102 pounds which is nothing for a five foot, seven inch woman. There are lots of reasons for this, including a husband whose ego demanded I be tinier than I am, but it is something I have been trying to get over.

I am an emotional eater. I eat when I'm happy. I eat when I'm sad. I eat when I am disgusted with myself and when I'm in love - with me or anybody else!

The past six months I have tried to address this problem along with losing a significant amount of weight for my own health. Losing weight is not new to me. Keeping it off, is. 

Now I am at the point where I can wear regular size clothing and I am not embarrassed by my size, but I would still like to lose a significant amount of weight.  That is what  I say, but what I am really thinking is don't let me put this lost weight back on!

This past month I started eating out with friends again and managed to lose one pound. That isn't much, but it is so much better than gaining five. Training myself to eat two meals a day and drink water has helped. So much of my eating was rewarding myself by eating and reading, or eating and watching a movie, so both books and television were triggers.

I suspect I will always be on a tightrope, trying to balance food with health, but I am hopeful that this time I am on the right rope.