Plots and coups and insurrections

 

I remember having to rewrite the Constitution in our own words when I was in school. I remember learning all the rules for respecting the American flag. I was involved in politics, that I remember, since age six when Eisenhower was president. I saw presidents come and go and even though our family supported some and not others during the elections, I never remember anyone not respecting whoever was in office. No matter which party he belonged to.

Never in my entire life did I expect to see a United States President attempt a petty coup like some South American dictator. It never occurred to me that a president in our country would try to takeover without winning an election.

A man who believed he could buy our country because he had bought everything else he wanted utterly destroyed my sense of security. 

Politicians have gone from people who were always self-serving and self important to outright dangerous clowns. They play with lies and half truths, outlandish stories and craziness the way teenagers play Dungeons and Dragons. Except even teens know what they are doing is a game while many American people think the people they elected are being truthful no matter how bizarre they are.

2016 was the election that made me fear for our country's future.

The Good Deed Fairy

 

I just spent several days with a very special creature.It is helpful, caring and always empathetic, but sometimes it is a little bit disconcerting.

One moment we are sitting, or walking along together and the next moment I am alone.

The Good Deed Fairy is gone!

Where?

The Good Deed Fairy disappears to take pictures for a large family eating with their loved ones. It flits over to tell a man he has left his flashlight on in his pocket and it is shining through the material of his pants. It saves a little boy from a very aggressive goose on a restaurant patio. It returns to find our waitress as we are leaving the restaurant and give her a huge handful of cash because she was so good and is due to give birth at any time.

This is the first time I ever spent time with a super hero!

Craziness

 

The doctor told her to eat small meals throughout the day.

She ate flavored yogurt and honey nut Cheerios for breakfast.

Egg noodles in gravy on mashed potatoes and biscuits for lunch.

A cherry snow cone and a medium hot fudge sundae for snacks.

A cheeseburger and fries for dinner.

I'm pretty sure this isn't what he had in mind, but her weight never fluctuated for years.

On the other hand I ate three jumbo eggs with a slice of cheddar cheese, a vegan sausage, and a slice of sprouted grain bread with lots of real butter for brunch.

And a serving of meatloaf, a tiny serving of mashed potatoes and three servings of broccoli with cheese sauce for dinner.

Two slices of white cheddar cheese for snacks.

That probably wasn't what he had in mind either, but I lost 64 pounds eating it.

Eating is an insanely personal, emotional and physical balancing act.

Full enough

 

What if you discovered that what suits "most people" according to social media, ads, and general rumor, does not necessarily suit you?

We have become so accustomed to authority figures like doctors, nurses, dietitians, and other people who supposedly "really know" that we don't question it.

Over the years nearly everything we eat or drink has been labeled bad, or a super food and then a few years later that is retracted. 

I appear to be healthier right now than I have been for at least forty years and I am embarrassed to tell you what I eat, because of these standards. I have lost well over sixty pounds, lowered my blood pressure, A1C, cholesterol, and managed to rehab an aching back without physical therapy.

By doing what my body wants and tolerates

I know that sounds too easy, but it really isn't. I can't drink soda pop, or eat dessert whenever I want. I can't survive on the breads and rolls I love, but I don't have to eat salad or give up cheese or even meat. I just have to eat them in the amounts my body craves and not feed my taste buds. My tasted buds crave tons of food right after I eat, but if I put them off an hour or so, they give in and allow me to realize I am full enough.

It has taken me years to figure some of these things out. I am not a religious exerciser, but I do need to get up and move twenty to sixty minutes a day. I can eat two big meals a day and still lose a little weight. Not as much as I did in the beginning, but still, a little. 

I had to learn to be nice to me. I like to read and sleep and socialize. I like to watch some movies and I like to be creative. There may be more, but it took me 72 years to get this far.

Give me time!

Balance

 

I have always had a weight problem. Even when I weighed 102 pounds which is nothing for a five foot, seven inch woman. There are lots of reasons for this, including a husband whose ego demanded I be tinier than I am, but it is something I have been trying to get over.

I am an emotional eater. I eat when I'm happy. I eat when I'm sad. I eat when I am disgusted with myself and when I'm in love - with me or anybody else!

The past six months I have tried to address this problem along with losing a significant amount of weight for my own health. Losing weight is not new to me. Keeping it off, is. 

Now I am at the point where I can wear regular size clothing and I am not embarrassed by my size, but I would still like to lose a significant amount of weight.  That is what  I say, but what I am really thinking is don't let me put this lost weight back on!

This past month I started eating out with friends again and managed to lose one pound. That isn't much, but it is so much better than gaining five. Training myself to eat two meals a day and drink water has helped. So much of my eating was rewarding myself by eating and reading, or eating and watching a movie, so both books and television were triggers.

I suspect I will always be on a tightrope, trying to balance food with health, but I am hopeful that this time I am on the right rope.