Old habits are hard to lose.
I have lost over sixty pounds by eating right for months and yet I still find myself feeling guilty about over eating even when I have not.
There is a frame of mind where I will always be overweight and uncomfortable. It causes me to wake up thinking "Why did I eat that?" When I only ate small meals with very few calories.
I get dressed in the morning and my clothes fit just fine, or are even a bit big, but in the evening I find myself feeling like I've been stuffed into them and longing for my pajamas.
Driving my car , I see other women who are very chunky and I commiserate with them. I still see myself as one of the chubby ones. I really have no sense of what size I am.
I try to reason it out. My sister weighs a certain amount and I think she looks great, so I should look fine too. I know it, but I don't feel it.
I will never weigh 110 pounds again. I really shouldn't even want to be that at my age and height, but my heart wants to be back there again.
The truth is, I just don't trust my own eyes and perspective.
Part of that is because I see other women who obviously have no idea how large they really are. I don't want to be one of them. And, on the other hand, I ask myself, "What difference does it make?"
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