Impaired

 

My life has been consumed by medical procedures lately. Culminating with an appointment with my nephrologist on Monday, I have had a bone scan, kidney scan, and blood tests. I've lowered my A1C, lost weight and done my best to make this old body the best it can be.

So I decided to just kick back and relax the other night. I turned on Netflix, picked a movie and, since I have a new sound box, flicked around trying to turn off the subtitles I have relied on for the last year. I decided on Just Like Heaven, a bit of fluff that seemed appropriate.

It began with a soft endearing male voice, "Clouds and a crescent moon are reflected in a pool of water . . ."

I thought, well, this is unusual.

It continued through out the movie, "the man and the woman lay down facing each other, their hands lightly touching," or something like that.

This narrator made the movie even more comical. I wondered how they ever came up with such a funny technique. I enjoyed it and watched the whole thing, kind of marveling at such an odd way of presenting such a movie.

The next day I turned on Shrek 2.  A gentle voice read all the opening credits out loud and I thought, "How lovely for children!"

Then the voice continued, "Under a shaft of golden light a large book bound in leather opens." This movie was also being narrated! Prince Charming appears and the voice continued, "He shakes his blonde hair." 

It slowly dawned on me. Something was not right!

In my attempt to turn off the subtitles I had activated the English Audio Description, evidently it is an aid for the visually impaired.

Sometimes I am impaired in other ways!