She brings me comfort, joy, food, protection. She is love, the only way I know it. She gave me life!
No one can make me feel better than she can. If I am sick, I want her near me. Always. If I am afraid, I run to her. When I need help I turn to her. Her words become the mottos of my life.
Yet, her words destroy my self confidence, build barriers between me and the rest of the world. She teaches me that I am better than others by birth, but never better than she is. She is god.
She molds me into her opinion of me and hammers that into place so firmly I do not see any other version. Not in the mirror, nor anyone else's eyes.
Of course she can't really do all these things. Deep inside I am still who I was born to be, but the only way that could ever emerge is through years of separation, miles of meditation, eons of work.
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