Midnight meanderings

Second night in a row I cannot sleep because of the prednisone, but I'm sure my body will sleep when it needs to. Right now nothing will change that. Not Benadryl by the handful. Not even this glass of merlot,

But the merlot is soothing and my book is good, the Christmas tree is lovely and I feel more at peace right now than I have in a very long time.

I cannot bring myself to worry, nor care much about the blood tests, or family dissension, not even our less than illustrious president. There is nothing I can personally do right now to change any of those things, so I have to concentrate on the things I can do.

I feel like I have come to some kind of peace with myself. I like being seventy. I like the sound of it. I even like the woman in the mirror more now too. She's done a lot of living and while life is not perfect, it is pretty close right now. (Minus these allergies!)

I feel like I have been waiting for this moment all along.

I know it won't stay this way forever. Nothing stays one way forever, but the flip side of that is the bad times don't either. Sometimes I have to just muddle through. But right now, in this moment, I feel complete.