Invisible

How does a person explain emotions so another person truly understands them?

Growing up we didn't talk about emotions. I knew if I cried I would wake the baby, or keep Daddy from studying, or upset mommy who was already very busy.

I knew if I laughed too loud or got too silly bad things could happen. One phrase I remember hearing over and over was, laugh after seven, cry before eleven.

Expressing emotion was like being belly side up in the jungle. Not just bad form, but possibly dangerous.

My sister remembers talking with our grandmother who told her, "When people ask how you are just say fine, because they don't really care."

Later in life I had friends who said FINE meant: Fucked up, Insecure, Neurotic and Enabling!

So what don't I feel, or maybe more to the point, what don't I know I am feeling and what can I do about it?

I'm reading Running on Empty by Jonice Webb, PhD and it's both enlightening and fascinating..

It talks about those empty spaces in life that were not intentional, but still had far reaching repercussions. I would recommend it for everyone, before, during and after raising children and even if you never had a child. Emotional neglect is the invisible fence around us that nobody knows exists.