In the end

Lately there have been times when life moves so quickly, or I move so slowly, that days pass before I realize I have not written a thought.

It is like being at a feast so rich, so varied, so infinitely huge that I have to be careful not to miss my favorite part -- dessert!

I believe I may be entering the very first phase of being old and I say that with both fear and wonder.

As Bestest pointed out, I have appeared too early at two things lately. In my defense I wrote down the wrong time on my calendar, but perhaps that is how it starts. I also went to the wrong place for our Cinco de Mayo celebration, but I was in good company there with my friend, a 29 year old engineer. The oldest and youngest members of our club finally found our way over to others in the end.

I have out lived my license plate! I went to put my new sticker on it only to discover it is peeling off. Now I suppose I shall have to find a way to replace it and the DMV is not open on Mondays.

Sunday was one of those halcyon days when the weather was perfect and I went to watch a new old sport. Old time baseball, a leftover from the transition of Cricket to Baseball where each run in ends by ringing a bell to announce the tally and the players wear old fashioned uniforms with no gloves.  We sat under a tree in the shade and it felt like we might have gone back in time.

The pharmacist refilled my prescription for the third time since I thought it was expired, leaving me with the feeling that I am just biding my time till the end.

My calendar is full. Ironwood Ladies, Wine Women and Words, library, baseball games, lunch with my daughter and granddaughter for Mother's Day, interspersed with calls from Bestest and my youngest son. For the first time in my life I feel like I have found my people. My fear of ending up alone seems unfounded right now. I am living my dream.

I have often felt like odd man, or woman, out. I guess I thought life was supposed to be what you are dealt, that the family and friends surrounding you were it. The truth, I have discovered, is that you are blessed with the opportunity to hunt down and choose your friends and family of the heart.

Suddenly one of my favorite phrases by John Lennon, "Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end." causes me to ponder . . .