Me too

It has been difficult for me to write this. I keep feeling that somehow this is different, that I was not sexually harassed. That's what I told myself at the time too.

But I had nightmares after it and sometimes I still have nightmares that I am saying, "no" to deaf ears, because I did say, "No." I said it over and over again. I even threatened to tell his mother, but of course I didn't.

Instead I felt dirty, violated, like I had done something wrong. Each time for a long time, because I stopped saying no after enough times. That makes it feel like I wasn't really violated too. Deciding that it was okay in the end.

But the point is: I said, "No," the first time, the second time, and many more times. So why did I continue to be with him? Partly because I was not at home. I was visiting his family and partly because I felt maybe I was wrong to feel this way. I thought maybe you were supposed to do these things even if you didn't want to. And he never acknowledged my dissent. He didn't even pause.

The sad part is that it had a long lasting and negative effect on my life.

And really his too.