Giving, not giving

Giving and not giving. Both have a definite place in this world.

Too much of either one creates terrible things.

And the quality of both make all the difference in the world.

There is not enough money in the world to make people change who they are, because money only buys things. You really can't buy happiness, or self control, or love. You can buy services, but if people don't use, understand and value those services, or if they believe they are really for "other people" and "other people's children" they are not going to make a huge difference.

Changing the attitude and belief system of a six year old is much easier than that of a thirty year old. The secret is consistency over a long period of time and a year or two is forever to a young child while it can be nothing to older people.

We grow up reflecting our family values, sometimes generations of family values, but once we are adults we are capable of choosing to change. It's certainly not easy and it won't come wrapped up in paper with a gift card. It can be facilitated by counselors and psychiatrists and psychologists, but in the end it has to come through us and be owned by us if we really want to change ourselves.

Giving ourselves permission to change is even better than not giving ourselves permission to continue being miserable, but it's okay to start in either place.