Listen and learn

I have only dreamed of flying once in my life.  All the other times I have dreamed of swimming.

In my dreams, breathing underwater seems as natural as out of it.  I love water.  I have always loved water! 

Whether we were at the lake in Minnesota, at the ocean watching the waves roll in, or in my bedroom watching the water shadows from the pool down below, there is something mesmerizing about water.

Yet, I am a very poor swimmer.  My father tossed me in the lake at two and I swam.  He towed me out to the sailboat when I was eight and I loved it.  But . . . my mother was terrified of water and she carefully and methodically passed that fear on to me.  I was a bright child.  I listened to her tales of nearly drowning when she was a child.  I heard her warning about the dirty water. I understood her story about being able to drown in a tablespoon of water if you weren't careful.

She kept me from ever taking swimming lessons, or going to the public pool until I was nearly eighteen strictly out of fear.  There were a few halcyon years when I swam in shallow water fearlessly because I knew I could stand up, but I was never able to give up that paralyzing fear that I might drown in deeper water.

I did not pass that on to my children.  They all passed their life guard tests and are fantastic swimmers.  I wish I had their confidence, but even after having our own pool for years I was never able to find that.

And that is a shame, because I think I am a water baby out of its realm and that is a great loss.