Uncertainty. If there is one word in the English language that describes my feelings right now, this is it.
I am going through one of those times when nothing seems secure.
I feel like my world is perfectly balanced on an invisible fulcrum, but only a shift in my breathing might send it crashing to one side or the other.
I keep waiting for that proverbial other shoe to fall and tear me away from this perfect dream; afraid that I will awaken when the sun comes up tomorrow morning and find that's all it was. A dream.
Every word is suspect, even the kindest most gentle and sweetest. This is August you know, the month when unimaginable things happen, when the rug can be quickly and deftly pulled out from under my feet and white rabbits turn into raging lunatics.
Nothing is quite what it seems and if I don’t believe that is true, I have only to remember the past.
And yet….
Perhaps this time things are different. Maybe this time I will lift the cup to drink and see only my reflection in the tea. Possibly when the brownies say, eat me, that is all they really want.
How I yearn for the world to be just what it seems.
It’s all I’ve ever really wanted.
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