A Matter Of The Heart

"Helloooooooooooooooo"

With email I expect almost instantaneous delivery, but that really depends on where the person on the other end is. It's kind of like living in a mountain valley. I stand on an outcropping, looking down over the trees and the rocks, the rills and tiny homes scattered here or there and call out.

My voice echoes through space, catching the ear of those tuned in to listen for it, but not necessarily everyone. Someone sleeping snugly in their bed probably does not want to hear me until they are up and at em. Others toiling away at tasks that cause them to pant with exertion may not hear me over their own work and still others caught up in their own thoughts, have simply lost touch with this world for a few peaceful and blessed moments.

And I, not wanting to disturb the student, or the one at prayer, do not always send my thoughts sailing out into the ether either.

It is always a decision for me, a careful weighing of want over what might be best. I do not want to be a distraction, but neither do I want to appear to be ignoring someone when I am not. Sometimes I just wish we could all go back to what I believe we might have had in our earliest evolutions.

The other day while riding in the car listening to News, Blues and All That Jazz, I suddenly heard my son's voice say, "Mom!" It was as clear as day. As if he was right outside the window of my car, which of course he was not. I haven't had that happen since years ago when he was a teenager in trouble. I had always told my children if they ever needed me and couldn't use a phone, I believed if they thought really hard, I would hear them. That time, long ago, I did hear him. On three separate occasions I heard his voice call out to me. Always it was just, "Mom!" So, this time I called right away on my cell phone and he didn't answer. It turned out he was napping and not in trouble at all,, but I don't regret the phone call.

That kind of communication comes from the heart. It's better than an email in some ways although it appears to be a little more iffy and discretionary. Today I tend to rely on email. But when I hear, or read, that helloooooooooooooooo, know that I was already thinking of you and just wondering if I should write. I still don't want to interrupt your process with my words, still want you to feel free to put all your thoughts into what you are doing, but still have not forgotten you for a moment.

I suppose it's all a matter of heart, no matter how I look at it, write it, say it, or even think it.

Helloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo...you'll hear it when the time is right.