The Loom Of Life

Nightmares.

What is the difference between a dream and a nightmare? I think it is the feeling behind them. A scene the evokes terror in me, might not effect you at all and vice versa.

Feelings are the most amazing part of living, they color life the way a good artist changes a childish red circle into a delicious looking apple. Each stroke of the brush, each highlight, or shadow, each nuance of color enriches what the eye sees. Not that there was anything wrong with the red circle, just that the end product has so much more going on.

I am a bundle of feelings tucked neatly into a human shape. Others may be just the opposite, I don't know. I don't know most other people well enough to figure these things out.

When I am concerned about something it can sap every bit of strength I have and leave me so exhausted I can barely move and then when I dream; I have nightmares.

Tonight I dreamed someone sneaked in and put my beautiful, regal, innocent German Shepherd into the dryer and turned it on. I found him in time, but when I tried to tell my parents they just didn't understand my concern. They said the dog was okay. I found him in time. They didn't see my world felt unsafe and that made it even less safe. I was afraid whoever did that might get my little Chauncey next and he would not survive it.

Just a dream, but where did it come from? What strange feelings wove themselves into the shape of dogs and dryers and parents from my past? And who took that cloth and twisted it, turned it, waved it around so that it intercepted today?

I am who I always was.