The Great Enablers

People with addictions are not helpless dummies. They want what they want and they want it all now. I can be pretty sure if they are smiling, they are momentarily pleased with themselves, but lo the moment they are not.

Let it not be said that they do not wish to be self-sufficient. The familiar tingle of discontent starts its first little tickle and they jump into action, immediately seeking what they need around their own area. Cookie jars are over turned. Piggy banks are robbed, rings sold, Cds pawned, whatever it takes to feed the beast. Then come the phone calls as they wheel and deal with those who have what they want. Their motto is, promise them anything, deal with it later.

Failing all this they visit those who are the softest marks, the Great Enablers. These are people who are handicapped by a false definition of love, believing that if they keep on giving, someday the hole will be full and everyone will feel good.

As the Enablers grow wiser, the addicted go for the jugular, stealing from them, threatening them with suicide, using the grand children as shields, or any tales of woe that might find a crack big enough to get a wedge in and pry out whatever it is they want in that instant. And they are not afraid to follow through, because, unlike the Great Enablers, the addicted are not hobbled by love, or respect. They are driven by FEAR. They want what they want when they want it and their greatest fear is that they will not get it.

People with addictions must choose to change, because that change is going to be hard, it is going to mean they have to admit some really tough things, and it is going to hurt. It means giving up the idea that a pill, or new furniture, or a new lover, or another drink will cure the problem. They may even end up just replacing one addiction for another, but it is still worth the try.

And it is possible.