After thoughts on my life

These are just some thoughts I've had while writing about my life.

Looking back I realize it is true that when one door closes another one really does open. Life is a series of learning experiences and the meaning of those experiences change as you grow older. 

After thinking about my ex for so many years and seeing how his second marriage went and how he is now, I think he confuses sexual excitement with love. Fulfillment will always be an elusive mystery for him

In 2002 all of my children, my ex and his wife, and I, all gathered at Ash Park for a farewell picnic. Jim and Jenny were moving to Colorado, Bobby was heading back to North Carolina and I was moving to Taylorville. It was the last time we would all be together for a long time. One of my favorite pictures of my children and me was taken that day.

Thinking of some of the people who have greatly influenced my life:

Bill, my ex-husband taught me that loving someone can be the most painful thing in the world, but he also left me financially capable of surviving on my own after our divorce. 

Becky, my oldest child and only daughter, helped me learn that with patience, creativity and perseverance a child labeled learning disabled or slow can function just like everyone else given the time and proper skills. She is amazing!

Jim, my older son, often made me wonder if I was smart enough to be his mom, He taught me that even the most intelligent and talented people can find life difficult. He is brilliant!

Bobby, my youngest child is often a mirror of me. He makes me see myself in a kinder light.

Judy, my oldest friend. has always been the voice of reason in my life. In some ways she has been a surrogate mother, teaching me so many practical things.

Eman8tions, my first healthy and lasting adult relationship after my divorce, brought my spirituality into full bloom at a time when I was floundering. He gave me the confidence to go on and live my life my way.

Andy is my Bestest, we are the same people thirty years apart. He allowed me to explore my inner child and learn to love and cherish her. He also allowed me to embrace my intellectual side by showing me he trusted me to edit his work and do research with him.

Caroline, my sister, the person I shared a room and life with for the first twenty years has shown me who my family is and was with all our differences and similarities. You love your family because they are family, in spite of your differences.

Brooke and Tiffany, my first grandchildren, have shown me how people can grow up under incredibly difficult situations and still thrive. They are an inspiration.

Lennon, Corra and Sam, my younger grandchildren are still very young, but their lust for life and innate sweetness make me realize that my descendants will be good people.

I'm sure I will have other thoughts as I live through the remaining years of my life, but if there is one thing I am sure of, it is that adaptability is one of life's greatest strengths. Learning to make the most of who you are,  where you are and the moment you are in, is the difference between despair and joy in the long run.