St.Louis

 

Eman8tions lived in a typical St.Louis Tudor four-square apartment building. His apartment was on the lower right with a spacious living room, huge middle bedroom and large kitchen. It had a front porch and back porch and access to the basement. I had given him my old stacked washer and dryer when I lived in the condo on Linden and he put that down in the basement.

When I arrived his apartment was filled with boxes. He had never bothered to unpack them because he really didn't know what to do with much of it. I sorted through everything and moved much of it to shelving in the basement. He eventually turned the room with the washer/dryer into his workroom where he made his drums and other projects. I stored my bicycle down there.

We were barely a block from Tower Grove Park, a lovely old St.Louis fixture with a pond and leftover Victorian ruins. The Botannical gardens were just a few blocks the other way and the house my grandparents lived in when my dad was born was right next to the gardens! I loved this neighborhood and rode my bike all through it. It was close to Grand and not far from The Hill, an Italian neighborhood where you could get yummy cannolis. There was a wonderful Irish pub called O'Connels with an antique store above it that had fish and chips on Fridays and the best hamburgers you could buy. We used to go Kaldi's coffee house in La Due and find lovely places to eat in the Central West End. We spent many wonderful hours at The Living Insights Center where Eman8tions played his flute and led meditations. I bought my beautiful Quan Yin statuette there and she still sits in my living room.

We did so many things together while I lived there. He gave concerts at different churches and locations all over the St.Louis area and even other towns and I always sold his CDs and books afterwards. We took a trip house sitting in Sedona, Arizona and made a side trip to the Grand Canyon. We camped in Chaco canyon and walked through Anasazi ruins. I remember the road into the campgrounds was so bumpy we had to crawl over it while tiny mice scampered across the moonlight ruts. I'll never forget how the wind blew threw the cliffs there, sounding like flutes from some far off past and the giant ravens who squawked over our tent that first night when we barely got inside before a huge thunder storm hit. We also traveled to pow wows to sell his drums and books and helped make labyrinths for people who wanted them.

One time we went to visit one of his friends from the symphony. The guy was a percussionist. He invited us in and we all got acquainted without much more talking. He had one of us gently tapping on a big gong while the other played a drum. He and his wife joined in too. Afterwards she read us some of her Haiku poetry and then we went outside and rode the electric train he had made. You could sit on the flat cars, or lie on two of them and feel like an alligator riding around his yard! It was so much fun. Both of us could ride at the same time. It was a very long small train on a winding track.

He was a huge proponent of AA and loved to tell his story. One of the women who was influential in his life was dying and her children rented an apartment for us so we could stay with her and take care of her. At first we cooked and took her to see things like The Gaither Family concert. Later we sat with her as her friends stopped by to visit and tell us how she influenced them. I remember how the people from a group of Children of Alcoholics would come one night a week and bring Chinese food to share. She was a much loved woman. I began knitting a multi-colored scarf and once in a while, when someone came to give us a few hours off, they would knit on that scarf. I gave it to her daughter after she died. At the end I was the one who gave her the drops of morphine to ease her pain. I watched her carefully, counting her breaths, because that was they told us we would know if she was in pain. After a while her breathing continued to get more rapid and I eventually gave her the extra drop of morphine. She died. Not alone, but with me right there and with no obvious reaction except a sudden peacefulness. Weeks later we drove to Springfield, Missouri to a memorial for her and both of us spoke. I did not intend to speak, but somehow found myself up there trying to explain how she'd felt like our great gray-haired child in the end. I never realized it at the time; I was too nervous when I sat down, but they gave me a standing ovation.

We also visited his friends like Jack who lived out west of St.Louis. Eman8tions mowed a labyrinth through one of his overgrown fields for him. This was where he and I attended a sweat lodge. It was much different from the one I had done in Illinois. In Illinois we didn't wear clothes and we jumped in a freezing creek afterwards. Here I had to wear a long sleeveless dress so no one would be offended and I declined to jump in the green stagnant pond. But the rocks were the same, so hot they glowed from the inside.

Another time we drove out west of St.Louis to see the elk and buffalo. It was a park divided into two sections to keep them separated by cattle guards. The elk were so close we could hear their antlers clicking as two big males began to fight. When we drove through the buffalo section we got so close to some of the buffaloes that one charged at our car! For a moment I thought we were in really big trouble. I envisioned those gigantic horns piercing my hood or even my windshield, but at the last moment he veered off.

I loved this period in my life except for the other women. Eman8tions had a powerful need to experiment with different women and lifestyles that led to me leaving several times. Once I went all the way to North Carolina to stay with my son. I got a job up on Black Mountain working in a cute little tourist spot. The owners were friends of my son and hired me to sell ice cream, hot dogs and retro type sodas at a place called Dukes. It was fun and something I'd never done before. When I first started there the owner showed me how to use bear spray if I ever needed to protect myself from someone if I was alone. He also showed me how to set up the big umbrellas they put out in pre-drilled holes in the boulders surrounding Duke's. They were not allowed to have picnic tables because they did not have a public restroom. The rocks became a shady place to sit if someone wanted to eat there. We put them out every morning and took them in at night. Then the owner, who also ran White Dog Press, asked me to come work in his printing office. He had two immense Alsatian German Shepherds. They were his children and went everywhere with him and his wife. They had their own air conditioned trailer to travel in, but they were guard dogs. I could not go from the back of the shop to the front without calling out to Will who would then inform the dogs it was okay! It was scary for someone who was already leery of dogs. During this same period I helped my son and his wife move into their first house in Canton, NC and made plans to stay out there when Ema8tions called. Somehow I thought I asked me to marry him, so I packed up and went back to St.Louis. He said I misunderstood. 

I don't count my time in North Carolina as a legitimate move since it didn't last very long and I just stayed with my son and his wife. It was more like an extended vacation. Being back with Eman8tions didn't really work for either of us. I finally ended up moving back to Taylorville, but we remained very good friends.