Coping skills

Coping skills are often life long ways of getting things done that are difficult, or unpleasant.

My main coping skill is to just do the thing right now and not put it off or prolong the agony.

My sister's is to pretend it doesn't exist.

She uses her poor hearing and perverse stubbornness to avoid learning anything new because she has cultivated a way of coping that doesn't involve reading directions or straining her mind in any way. Instead she manipulates people into feeling sorry for her, so they will do it for her, or at least take charge and relieve her of any real responsibility.

She cultivates love by buying things. Whether it is from second hand stores, garage sales, or using charge cards, she likes to provide things she thinks other people want or need. However if they need something that she doesn't want to provide, or feels incapable of providing, her response is very passive aggressive and can be dangerously neglectful.

She lacks the confidence to do the right thing if it means challenging anyone in any way. Instead, she will commit to things she really does not want to do and in the end either "forgets" or does poorly. That can be truly destructive if one is a parent or caretaker.

As she ages these things become a larger part of her personality and cause both her and those around her much unhappiness.

As I age I am experiencing many mobility problems. Asking for help is hard for me, but not always a choice anymore. Since my children are scattered coast to coast and far away from me, I rely more on the family left here and my sister is the primary person available. 

Our personalities clash!