Trying

 

I have not always made the best decisions. In fact, I make many poor decisions all the time, but that does not negate the fact that I am trying.

I see Facebook memories and old Thots and realize that trying to find that quiet place, that peaceful center, that moment of equilibrium has been a running theme for me.

I know that politics, my health, and some people are consistently putting a crink in my plans and calling me out again and again.

Serenity is a journey, not the end I have always hoped it was. At least for me

Usually when I go to sleep at night I can find that place for me. I visualize it as a starry night, or deep sea water, or, sometimes as a reddish healing haze, but lately it has been muddied with only glimpses of what is beyond.

I am stressed. I know I am stressed. The state of my country and the state of my health are both extreme stressors for me. But I am doing my best.

But I am trying.

Trying to find the peace that is here and hoping to find a way to let it spread out across my environment, my world, into the chaos around me.