Time line

 

I know you and I don't know why.

You are a face, an intuitive feeling, an unremembered memory, or yet to be experienced occurrence. 

You are a part of me caught up in this thing called time that I cannot put my finger on, and yet I know you.

Your face jars some unknown part of my lifeline. 

Your eyes speak to me of our togetherness.

A word, a phrase, an accent, speaks to me in tones that are so familiar.

My heart aches with the wanting of something that no one else will ever understand, because even I do not understand it.

But I know you.

Love is not a contract

(Originally published 2-16-2025) 

It doesn't matter if you love someone or they love you.

It doesn't matter if that love is reciprocated by either one of you.

Love is love,

True love occurs in spite of our shortcomings. We love someone not because they are this or that, pretty, or talented, famous or handsome.We love them in spite of the fact that they have bad habits, or gain weight, or grow older, or even act childish.

They can betray us, ignore us, or hurt us and we may turn away from them to save ourselves, but it is still possible to love them.

That is why wedding vows are such poor protection from divorce. Love is not a contract. It doesn't have to make sense by the world's standards, nor does it have to stand up in court.

Love is a state of being. A wonderful, unimaginable state of being that defies the odds and cannot really be defined. It does not guarantee happiness or anything else.

Love stands alone, defined by the heart not the head which is why it is so difficult to understand. How we respond or react to the love we experience either as the beloved or the lover is one of the great mysteries of the universe.

People mistake friendship, liking, needing wanting and lusting for love and while it may include all those things it is so much more.

True love is hole that is filled by transcendental experiences that are not quantifiable or even understandable. Love can be sublimated, but it does not die, which is why it can be both an unimaginable blessing and supremely painful torment.

It you have experienced it, you know there is nothing in this world like it.

Trying

 

I have not always made the best decisions. In fact, I make many poor decisions all the time, but that does not negate the fact that I am trying.

I see Facebook memories and old Thots and realize that trying to find that quiet place, that peaceful center, that moment of equilibrium has been a running theme for me.

I know that politics, my health, and some people are consistently putting a crink in my plans and calling me out again and again.

Serenity is a journey, not the end I have always hoped it was. At least for me

Usually when I go to sleep at night I can find that place for me. I visualize it as a starry night, or deep sea water, or, sometimes as a reddish healing haze, but lately it has been muddied with only glimpses of what is beyond.

I am stressed. I know I am stressed. The state of my country and the state of my health are both extreme stressors for me. But I am doing my best.

But I am trying.

Trying to find the peace that is here and hoping to find a way to let it spread out across my environment, my world, into the chaos around me.

Children

 

Children are love personified, the actual manifestation of the love between two people. People talk about the joys of parenthood. 

I see people dressing children up like dolls, parading them in front of the world so others can see how beautiful they are. I see children performing amazing feats that bring them and their parents much acclaim.

Children keep us from being lonely. They raise our spirits with their shenanigans. And they can be both stressful and a lot of work.

So, what is the real purpose of a parent, aside from simply keeping the child alive?

A parent's job is to give their child the skills to live successfully in the real world once they are grown up.

Animals seem to do this by instinct. 

People are not always so cognizant.

The ultimate purpose and supreme act of love is to take these beautiful creatures that we cannot live without and teach them to live without us.